lovers, others,

Part one: What's happening

laura will be playing a 3RRR live-to-air on Sunday Nov 8 at 5pm on Owen McKern's Delivery.

we love it when you love it and you will love it when you see it live and we will be live and so you will love it and so we will love it, so:

Part two: how to love it

come down and see the show live!

if you get in quick, RRR is currently giving away double passes at their website: www.rrr.org.au/whats-going-on/rrr-presents/live-to-airs/

you will also love it if you hear it over the radio: 102.7fm

and you will also love it when you hear it streamed over the internet: www.rrr.org.au/programs/streaming

 

but you may not love it if it's just described to in detail to you after the fact by an acquaintance, so probably best to go with one of the above options.

laura loves you

***** was in the garden on the trike and i was getting the clothes out of the machine. i was angry because somehow a flag had gotten in with the whites. your work shirts were all ruined, and i was worrying about where the food would come from.

then i think i remember the phone ringing, but i didn't answer it. i just listened to the ringing getting louder and louder, and when the noise stopped, i realised the traffic noise had gone away too. i felt really cold, and i ran out to find *****, and he'd bumped into the big step by the drain and hurt his knee. i could see he was crying - his mouth was wide open, and his head was tilted right back - but i couldn't hear anything. he was older all of a sudden, and calm again, and he stood up and stepped over the trike and walked over to the lemon tree and picked one, low-down on the shady side. it was ripe, but i could see blue-green dust on the dark side where the mould had gotten to it. ***** ran his finger through the mould, and then smeared it over the cut on his knee, and then he was little again and standing in front of me, saying:

"it's okay, we can work all this stuff out again. we've done it before."

for our first set of shows in six months, laura is accompanying sweden's cult of luna down the east coast:

• brisbane, thu 12 feb @ the tivoli
• sydney, sat 14 feb @ the manning bar
• melbourne, sun 15 feb @ the hifi

if i had a budget of two words to explain cult of luna to you, then they would be "sludge" and "post", because "sludge" gets you interested, and "post" is so cheap i could probably cash in the rest of the budget and spend it on a packet of sandwiches.

for the logistical centre-types amongst you, here's laura's final packing list for this seven-person, four-day tour (that's 28 person-tour-days, remember):

• lawyer (1)
• gun (1) and either
• packet of sandwiches (1) or, depending on market conditions
• "post" (1)

if you have a small amount of cash coming to you through some kind of "post" cash-back offer or mebbes a lil tax break, then why not invest it in what is, eerily, a kind of combination of the two, by purchasing a copy of our e.p. "yes maybe no" from our thrice-beloved partners @ elevation recordings?

Critics agree:

• it's a "recording" that includes "noises"
• yes maybe no is "frenetic, dark, complex and layered"
• "dark, delicate melodies twitch and twinkle before being ripped apart by massive walls of distortion and feedback."
• attendees of laura's shows grunt "like a troupe of whoring sea-donkeys"

our love for you and your whoring sea-donkey troupe is strong,
laura

we've posted our video diary from the japan tour - check it out here

love, laura.

dear person(s) i am talking to/at,

as i write, ME- and (to a lesser extent), US-related events continue to take place ALARMINGLY CLOSE to my CURRENT LOCATION. even as the SECURITY SITUATION here at where i am CONTINUES TO DETERIORATE, i intend to keep reporting to you from the very CENTRE of the US-RELATED ACTION, until the realities of the situation force me to introduce some separation between me and us-related events for FOR MY OWN SAFETY.

i'm getting word now WITH ONE HAND RAISED TO AN EAR that someone is talking to me on my earpiece and passing on a message which i'm RAPIDLY, AGITATI-SOOTHINGLY relaying to you now live on air:

- we have: wangled a (very limited) consignment of our new EP 'yes maybe no' into JB Hi Fi stores.

- we have: put t-shirts up for sale here, including some limited edition japan tour 2008 t-shirts.

- we have announced upcoming shows in sydney, brisbane and melbourne

• friday 19th september in melbourne: east brunswick club w/ special guests. pre-sale tix on sale now, $12+bf at the east brunswick club box office, online or phone: (03) 93889794
• saturday 20th september in brisbane: globe theatre, 220 brunswick street fortitude valley w/ del toro & do the robot. tickets at oztix retail outlets, or from globe theatre ph: 1300 762 656)
• sunday 21st sept in sydney: badlands festival.

- we have: recovered our instruments from customs.

- we have: sent an email message to you listing all the things above.

in TROUBLED times, it's the simple questions that become more important: what do events MEAN? how should we LIVE? what must we CHANGE? in an ever-changing world of geopolitical manoeuvre AND metanational 50-billion-dollar-foldout-mansion financial MANIPULATION, a world in which global INTRIGUE seems sometimes not to solely revolve around LAURA, YOU need to stay on top of the things that matter more then ever: your trusted, OMNI-ideological, ultra-UBIQUI-partisan, hyper-neo-post-SUPER-HUMANist source of US-related news coverage should always be: US. remember, laura the imaginary human is MILITANTLY PRO-HUMAN, in a world where the real humans often aren't.

unexpected bonus laura-endorsed personality test #493: have a quick look at the next paragraph. each of the triples can be left as it stands or flipped (i.e. "yes maybe no" could be left alone, or flipped to "no maybe yes"). to do the test, go through the list, deciding for each triple whether you prefer to leave it alone (write down a zero) or flip it (write down a one). for best accuracy and predictive power, each decision should feel completely arbitrary (i.e. DO NOT, just because it's a personality test, start thinking about your childhood). at the end, you will be left with a binary number (e.g. 000101010). convert this binary number into a decimal number (this page can help). don't worry about making mistakes; they're all part of the magic of the test. the space fairies who are running the show have the capacity to predict and compensate for them. multiply the decimal number by your age. go to google and type this number as words separated by spaces, followed by your name (e.g. "four hundred and thirty six ") into the search bar and press "i feel lucky". the page you reach will be a specially generated message intended solely for you, giving a special insight into your future romantic, professional and financial escapades.

YES MAYBE NO
NEVER SOMETIMES ALWAYS
ICE WATER STEAM
FUTURE PRESENT PAST
THINK SAY WRITE
RUN WALK CRAWL
ENGORGE ENDURE TUMESCE
LIES LIES LIES
LOVE LOVE LOVE
HUMANS HUMANS HUMANS

"cardboard cutout robot victim hero children", from our new ep "yes maybe no" (US release july 1), is up on our myspace. right now. go there. i'll wait for you. www.myspace.com/lauranoise

this friday, laura plays the peninsula lounge.

this saturday, she goes on to play the corner hotel.

at either show, you can buy our new ep, Yes Maybe No. you can't get it at retail stores in australia, ONLY AT THE SHOWS. shikata ga nai. presale tickets are to be had - at a discount - to guarantee your entry and a crack at the merch desk; this looks a wiser course of action each day.

also next week we are going to japan. it is clear that this is insane and that some series of mistakes has been made somewhere in administrative bureaux which we are now honourbound zealously to exploit on behalf of hideous little medusa-headed gorgeous princess laura thinginthebasement quietly dictating our every move with a plastic spoon that takes a fiendish sharpened edge that she brandishes in your face just when you're finally able to think of sleep. it sometimes is difficult to explain why the band's name is laura, but it's mostly because of stuff like that.

full gig details: here
laura myspace, with online catalog of our full stock of lauras: here

japan tour dates

thursday june 26 :: superdeluxe tokyo
friday june 27 :: earthdom tokyo
saturday june 28 :: sunsui osaka
thursday july 3 :: club quattro hiroshima

friday june 20 :: peninsula lounge
saturday june 21 :: corner hotel

ticketing info here

you are asleep.

> wake up

you open your eyes and slowly stand. your head is spinning slightly.

you are in the centre of a tinder-dry clearing within a forest. your clothes are covered with flakes of bark.

> look around

non-specific ambient forest noises seem to be coming from your left, but when you look in that direction, the sounds stay in your left ear. i have been specifically instructed to inform you that you feel a little dizzy, and have a slight sense of forboding.

you seem to have been sleeping on a circular pile of bark.

there is a well to the north.

> north

you are a little unsteady on your legs.

disturbed by your movement, pieces of bark detach from your clothing and tumble to the ground. they make an incongruous thudding noise as they touch the ground.

as more and more flakes of bark reach the ground, it begins to look as though they're forming a pattern.

> what kind of pattern?

i have been told to inform you that i cannot answer questions, only respond to imperative commands. if you want to know about the intricately detailed bark pattern seemingly formed by chance, please ask me to 'examine pattern'.

> examine pattern

i have been told to inform you that there is no detailed bark pattern seemingly formed by chance here.

> look at bark

i'm sorry, i don't understand that instruction. please simplify.

> look bark

i've been told to inform you that you are not to be allowed to read the message.

> look bark

i've been told to inform you that, as much as i might wish to help, particularly in the light of your circular plight, under no circumstances are you to be permitted to read the message.

> look bark

i've been told to inform you that you are becoming progressively weaker; that the sky becomes more monochrome with each interaction between us. your knees are trembling, and the well has taken on a crooked, threatening aspect. you feel discouraged, and very disinterested indeed in bark. look, over there: a tiger.

> look bark

there is no bark message from laura here.

> look at bark message from laura

i'm not sure what you mean by 'bark pattern conveying laura's fondest regards'.

> read bark pattern conveying laura's fondest regards

there is no bark pattern apologising for laura's recent ABSENCE here.

there is no bark pattern relaying laura's THANKS for your kind understanding.

there is no bark pattern, so arranged as to cause you to reflect that laura' absence is likely due to the songwriting and recording process for some sort of new RECORD here.

there is no bark pattern informing you of the upcoming recording of a new, yet-to-be-titled limited-edition exclusive laura EP for us label ELEVATION here.

there is no bark pattern advising that laura will be announcing new MELBOURNE show dates in the near-to-mid-term on dates negotiated directly with the reserve bank board of governers so as to have minimal impact on consumer spending.

there is no bark pattern advising that laura is coming to JAPAN to play some shows in tokyo and osaka in june 2008.

there is, specifically, no bark pattern in the form of a calendar such that the day of june 26 2008 shows laura playing at SUPER DELUXE (http://www.super-deluxe.com/), MINATO-KU, TOKYO, that the day of june 27 2008 shows laura playing at EARTHDOM (http://www1.odn.ne.jp/shinjuku-dom/index.html/menu.html), SHIN-OKUBO, TOKYO, and that the day of june 28 2008 shows laura playing at SUNSUI (http://www.sunsui.net/), OSAKA.

the tiger i made up earlier to frighten you seems to have taken on some level of reality. this is a regrettable consequence of my unique position in this... uh... environment. i should by now know to be more careful about what i say.

the tiger begins to walk towards you.

you are tired.

you fall asleep.

> look around

there is nothing.

you are asleep.

> wake up

you open your eyes and slowly stand. your head is spinning slightly.

you are in the centre of a tinder-dry clearing within a forest. your clothes are covered with flakes of bark.

we're excited to announce the japanese release of radio swan is down.

the japanese edition, released by happy prince, includes alternate cover art and the bonus track we should keep this secret. if you're quick, the first 200 copies also include a bonus disc that contains the clips for every light, i hope, we should keep this secret and hikikomori plus the track radio swan is down part 1 (live) taken from our brand new live album (re)capitulate.

love, laura.